English 1301 students:
For our Friday, November 30 blog, please submit a comment of just one well-developed paragraph about the revisions that you will do (or already have done) to your Combining the Patterns essay rough draft before the second draft workshop on Monday, December 3.
Please remember what I discussed with everyone as we wrapped up the first workshop: being there on Monday for the second workshop with your significantly revised draft is something to do for me and for your B or A grade plan, but it is just as important to be there with a truly revised draft for the sake of your workshop partner. Your partner will be asked to fill out the sheet with specific details about the revision you have done. Please do not make it awkward for her or him by coming in with an identical rough draft, the same exact one that he or she already has read.
After you submit your comment, you do not need to reply to any of the other comments. Instead, you can use the extra time to get right to your revisions!
Please make sure to use MLA format. If you have any questions about this format, here is a link explaining it: Purdue OWL
And, again, here is a sample first page showing you how to type your name, professor's name, course name, and date above the centered title:
Please note that only your last name and the page number should be in the header, and it should be in the top right corner of each page. Your name, professor's name, course name, and date should be typed at the top of the first page, and it should not appear on any page but the first.
Reminders for next week: The final draft of Essay #5 is due at the beginning of class on Wednesday, December 5.
Next Friday's blog will serve in place of the final exam. We will discuss the topic of the final blog in class on Wednesday.
Have a great weekend,
Dr. K
The LGBTQ people group has been battling for their rights and attempting to pick up acknowledgment in the public arena for a long time. This battle has influenced long haul connections. As Scott A. Kramer portrays, « when gays had long haul connections, they shrouded their connections so they would not encounter dismissal from their families and companions. Frequently, life accomplices were introduced to families and companions as their flat mates or companions, without going into the idea of the relationship. » Scott A. Kramer takes note of that in light of the gay rights development, it's simpler now for gay couples to imagine having a relationship instead of being on the edges of society.
ReplyDelete«Hetero connections and gay connections are winding up more comparable as gay connections are acclimatized into hetero culture. Gay couples need similar things heteros do. They need to discover an accomplice, love, and satisfaction. They need a family, regardless of whether it comprises of at least two individuals, to purchase a house, and take some time off».
As per the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, people from explicitly arranged minority gatherings might be at various dimensions of mindfulness and solace, which can cause struggle in a relationship. While the political and social atmosphere is improving, same-sex couples still experience a lot of segregation, which can affect a relationship at any stage. Likewise, there are relational components that can affect connections of any sort, for example, past youth issues, introduction to manhandle, injury, and trust issues. Now and again, segregation can aggravate these issues. Finding an emotional well-being proficient who is knowledgeable in same-sex connections can enable gay couples to manufacture enduring connections.
I plan on revising a couple of things on my Combining the Patterns essay. I want to add more detail to my thesis sentence and be more specific. I also want to move around sentences throughout my essay and delete any unnecessary words. It will help my essay tremendously because my transitions between my paragraphs will flow more smoothly. In addition, I do not want to repeat myself so much throughout the essay. By selecting different choice of words it will help my essay not seem so repetitive. Also, I plan on correcting any errors in punctuation, spelling, and grammar I might have made when writing my essay. By doing all of these revisions my essay will change significantly and it would qualify for an A or a B grade.
ReplyDeleteFor the first set of revisions due on Monday, December 3, I will focus on being more transparent with the patterns I am using for my essay. The three patterns I chose for my essay are cause and effect, compare and contrast, and classification. I know I have to for sure be more clear about my usage of classification in my essay. I also need to apply the same treatment to my paragraph where I use cause and effect. It sounds like I am just narrating my life rather than pointing out my reasoning for my negative views on tattoos. Hopefully these revisions will allow for a comprehensive understanding of the patterns I use in the paper and create a more refined read through.
ReplyDeleteI plan on rewriting one of my paragraphs completely. I want to do this because I feel that the paragraph does not fit and must be changed. I want the paragraph to describe my favorite genres of books I like to read. I feel that if I do this, the paragraph would fit better in my essay. The other thing I want to do is change my introduction strategy. I want to start my essay by using the definition of "enjoyment". I plan on adding some of my personal opinions about reading. I also want to make sure that my grammar is correct throughout the essay.
ReplyDeleteThe revisions I will make before the second rough draft include making sure that I have used three of the four styles. I will also make sure that my thesis statement is what it needs to be. When I rewrite the draft, I will make sure that the transitions work well with my paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteI plan on revising my essay by writing about what truly come from the heart. Instead of writing multiple stories on undeserved shame, I am just going to write about one specific story. There is also a few sentences that I needed to reword to sound more interesting and not so confusing. I plan on making my thesis statement more clear so the readers to see and understand what my essay is really going to be about. Punctuation errors are planned to be made as well. I hope correcting all of the errors I’ve made will meet the requirements of a B or A.
ReplyDeleteFor my essay I plan on first fix all grammatical and spelling errors I made. After this I want to work on the order of the examples I as a better flow the essay. Then I need work on actually finishing my conclusion so that it wraps up the essay. After this I want to go back and look over the overall structure of the essay, and maybe split up some paragraphs that are a little too long. Then once I proofread it several times over, then I will submit it for the second rough draft.
ReplyDeleteFor my essay revisions, my partner suggested that I use what I thought was my conclusion as just another body paragraph, that one could be my compare/contrast portion of the essay. They also suggested that I should say that the shame I was given was undeserving instead of letting the reader decide for themselves. He suggested that for my compare and contrast portion of my essay that I compare more of my feelings instead of my actions. So that would mean comparing when I was depressed and low from the shame and how I raised out of it. There was also a transition in my essay that my partner did not like between paragraph 2 on my third page. My partner suggested ways that I change it and make it flow better. Because of the suggestions I will be going back and changing them into a different order and making the essay stronger by changing the suggested things by my partner.
ReplyDeleteFor my essay on combining the patterns, I plan to do substantial revision. I plan on using the tips from my workshop partner to make my paper stronger and more complete. My introduction is weak and too short. I will strengthen and lengthen my introduction to set up my essay better and more organized. I will have to fix transitions into each paragraph to make them flow together more smoothly. In doing these revisions I hope to set myself up to write a more fully developed essay and to get an A. These revisions should set me up to get an A on the essay and to pass the course as a whole.
ReplyDeleteIn my essay I will be making some significant revisions to improve the overall tone of my essay. Instead of being descriptive when it comes to informing my reader I will change it to view a funnier side. I plan make my essay creative and express different dialogues so it wont be so bland. I will also fix the margin spacing, title font and write more sentences to equal the full length. My essay will be a great essay over especially because of all the revisions I am doing to continue with an A.
ReplyDeleteThe topic for this essay involves the aspect of combing patterns and adding all learned topics here. Even though I feel my essay is sufficient it does need to be revised to make it more than just adequate. Some improvements such as combining short sentences, grammar, spelling errors, and making my points more prevalent. Firstly, i'm good at throwing examples out to try and form a paragraph out. I'll make sentences randomly and then rearrange them within each other, but this is rather a problem sometimes because they are sometimes too short. In this process, when having words flow through, I end up going to fast and misspelling things so I’ll need to go back and fix those while also capitalizing missed “I’s”. Lastly, for my big revision, I will need to make my points more defined instead of just glossing over each. Hopefully then I will have made essay more than adequate to get that “A” i'm longing for.
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ReplyDeleteFor my final essay I have plans to do several things for revision. My first change I will do is to make all three of my patterns very clear and pronounced as he could only find two during the work shop. The next set of changes will go to my transitions and effectively and smoothly changing into the next pattern I use or topic I talk about. The next changes will be small grammar mistakes made here and there I am going to focus more on the first two and really try and work those out.
ReplyDeleteFor essay #5, Combining the Patterns, I am writing about how my views on traditional college have changed over the few months of me attending Angelo State University. In my rough draft my thoughts and what I am trying to get across is a little scattered. In my revisions I need to organize my thoughts better and really I need to organize my whole essay better. I do have all of the organizational patterns that are required for the paper but I need to make them easily identifiable and I need to make sure they flow better together throughout the essay. Along with organizing my thoughts I need to add more content about how my views were changed rather than just stating that they were in fact changed. With adding content and better organizing my essay along with fixing spelling and punctuation errors I think that my revisions will be sufficient to get me a B or hopefully an A on this last essay.
ReplyDeleteMy rough draft essay is needed to fix a lot. First, I think I have to organize my patterns to be distinct. I used exemplification, cause and effect, and comparison and contrast patterns and I think they are not organized enough and I needed to develop more. Secondly, I’m going to evaluate my conclusion and make it more clear because my conclusion looks too weak and vague. Lastly, my wording is needed to be fixed a lot. I need to correct some grammar errors and put out some overlapping sentences.
ReplyDeleteMy partner gave me many different choices on how I could improve my essay. She noticed that I did not have a thesis statement, which is something I have always struggled with. She suggested several ways I could create a thesis statement. I gave several examples in my essay but failed to explain one part in which my partner caught and I will be able to correct that mistake. In some places she found where i had repeated myself too often, so she gave me ideas of how I can go further into explanation. I plan on finding an engaging title to put at the top of my essay. I hope to add more link to my essay which will hopefully make me have better chances of receiving a higher grade. Hopefully this becomes one of the best ones yet from the last ones that I have done in the past
ReplyDeleteFor my essay i plan to revise and and edit my thesis. When i first wrote it i just stated which patterns i was going to use for the essay but i never really clarified what the essay was going to be about. So i will also edit my whole introduction paragraph to better explain my topic. I will also be editing my body paragraphs to better implement the combining patterns. I shall add some more examples for exemplification and have some more comparing and contrasting ideas. Some transitional phrasing from paragraph to paragraph is missing so i will edit those into my essay too. For my conclusion, i will edit the restatement of my thesis so it can be clearer to understand.
ReplyDeleteFor my essay, I plan on redoing a lot of parts throughout my essay in order to make my everything flow together better with the rest of my information.I also plan fixing the mistakes my partner caught and also revise some on my own in order to catch errors and or remove things that are necessary to make it better. I hope by doing this that I catch everything that I miss by just skimming over my paper and make it better to understand
ReplyDeleteI plan to add more details to make my essay for engaging. I will be putting more emphasis on the causes and effects. Then I may move my paragraphs around. Also, I need to edit my grammar and such. Overall, my essay will be greatly changed. I am excited to fix my last essay.
ReplyDeleteFor my final essay of the semester, I plan to do a great amount of revision. Me and my workshop partner have collaborated and found that I need fix a couple of grammatical errors and add more in-depth examples to my essay. Another thing that I can do, is use more of the patterns learned throughout the semester to add more layers to it. I hope to follow these instructions so that I can significantly improve my paper.
ReplyDeleteI plan to make some key steps so that my essay will be successful. Sentences need to flow better so the reader will be more engaged. More depth needs to be added to the essay. There are also some grammatical errors that can be fixed in the essay also. These are the issues that need to be fixed. Once they are fixed, the essay will be successful.
ReplyDeleteI suppose the most important thing for me to do is fill in a few missing details. I left quite a few parts of the essay out in order to keep it brief. Unfortunately, going back over it I don't think I picked all the right bits to tell the story I want to tell. It's going to be a bit of a mix and match game as I add some details in while cutting out or shortening others. Other than that, there's maybe just a bit of polish to apply here and there. Nothing major.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that I started on my revision was grammar. Some parts of my paper had small spelling errors and a couple of senstance fractures in the paper, but now are fixed. The next thing I did for revision was adding more detail to some parts of my story and removing unnecessary details that don’t mix well with the paper. The reason for this was by adding more and removing some details, I wanted the paper to flow better. Another thing I did for revision was by adding another paragraph to the paper. This paragraph would be a comparison and contrast of my past experiences and my experiences in the present. This would help with adding more detail to my paper and helps make the paper more interesting. This would help get me a better grade for this paper.
ReplyDeleteThis combining patterns essay is the toughest essay we’ve had all year. I have a lot of revisions that I am going to be doing. The first thing I’m going to do is making my thesis statement more clear. To me it is a working thesis statement, but it is too broad. In the fact that the reader will not really understand my general arguement of my paper. Another thing I need to work on is finishing my ideas. You see my patterns flow together pretty well. On the other hand if I were to clear up my examples and make them easier to understand then it would make my patterns connect 10 times better. I think I can do that by adding conclusions or transistion sentences to end of each of my paragraphs. I also need to make my indentions a lot more noticable for each paragraph. I believe if I do these things my paper will come out a lot better.
ReplyDeleteFor my final draft I am going to have to revise a lot and change up some topics. First thing I have to do is make my thesis statement stronger. Next I need to fix some grammar and change my wording to make my paragraphs flow together. Last I can add more to my conclusion to make it end my essay with a strong statement. After I do all these revision's ill hopefully be in the A or B grade range.
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