English 1301 students:
For our Friday, November 9 blog, please submit a comment of just one well-developed paragraph about the revisions that you will do (or already have done) to your Classification essay rough draft before you turn in the final draft at the beginning of class on Monday, November 12.
Remember that you have to do significant revisions to your draft to fulfill the contract requirement that would qualify you for an A or a B grade. So think big! Don't just comment that you plan to change a few words here and there. Instead, as we talked about on Wednesday at the workshop, explain how you will redo your categories to make them unconventional (i.e., explain the new creative categories that I either discussed with you in class or that you have thought up), to add an entirely new section, or to do something else equally substantial.
After you submit your comment, you do not need to reply to any of the other comments. Instead, you can use the extra time to get right to your revisions!
For class on Monday, please read pp. 655-79 in Chapter 15, “Combining the Patterns,” of our textbook, in addition to having your final draft printed out, along with your clustering invention pages from your notebook (done in class on Monday, October 29), your rough draft, and your workshop sheet (filled out by your partner) to turn in.
Please make sure to use MLA format. If you have any questions about this format, here is a link explaining it: Purdue OWL
And, again, here is a sample first page showing you how to type your name, professor's name, course name, and date above the centered title:
Please note that only your last name and the page number should be in the header, and it should be in the top right corner of each page. Your name, professor's name, course name, and date should be typed at the top of the first page, and it should not appear on any page but the first.
Have a great weekend,
Dr. K
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ReplyDeleteI plan to make several changes to my classification and division essay. Besides just making grammar and spelling corrections I also plan to add to my list of examples used in the essay. Elaborating on the basis of unconventional topics, I plan on explaining and giving more detail on the types of categories. For example I plan on giving an example about a time where Plaza Verde was hosting a free food and drink event. In addition to this I’ll also elaborate on the type of free food offered and the extent that it was used to attract students to the event. I also plan on explaining the benefits of hoe these events help students relax and relieve themselves from the stress of college life.
ReplyDeleteThe revisions I have done on my essay is that I changed the types of entertainment events in my essay. When I changed the types also made me change my thesis and the transitions between paragraphs. I will probably will add a few sentences saying what departments holds the events. I also want to try to go more into detail about the events i used. I'm also going to go through my essay to check for grammar errors. I also want to make sure that I don't repeat myself through out the essay. I will probably end up moving my paragraphs around a bit to make it more effective. That is what I plan on doing to revise my essay.
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ReplyDeleteI will make the revisions to the classification and division essay by stating my thesis more clearly as well as most likely rewriting the entire essay. I will for sure make a better thesis with better transitions. For the most part I know that to get the revision requirement, I might as well rewrite it. I will keep the same examples of ASU events but I will go more in detail with them and describe the groupings better.
ReplyDeleteI plan on revising a couple of things on my classification essay. My goal is to redo my categories to make my essay unconventional. So basically, I plan on making the ASU entertaining extracurricular events fall into the meal worthiness and the levels of hype categories. By doing that my essay will change significantly and I it would qualify for an A or a B grade. I also want to move around sentences throughout my essay. It will help my essay tremendously because my transitions between my paragraphs will flow smoothly. My intentions are to not repeat myself so much. By selecting different choice of words it will help my essay not seem so repetitive. In addition, I plan on correcting any errors in punctuation, spelling, and grammar I might have made when writing my essay.
ReplyDeleteBefore turning in my final draft, I plan on making substantial changes to my paper. I will do this in hopes of revising enough to qualify for a grade of A or B. In my most recent papers, the revision process is something that I have not been doing well enough on and is what I need to improve on. In my essay, I plan on reconsidering and changing at least one of my categories. This is the tip for revision that my instructor gave me. I will also take into account the changes suggested by my workshop partner. I will need to make the paper seem less like an informative essay and make it more expressive. I will also need to make my thesis statement stronger or change it entirely. After doing this, I will make sure my paper is written in an order that flows and transitions smoothly. After making these changes my essay will qualify for an A or B grade.
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ReplyDeleteI plan on really getting things in order, I have a bunch of scattered information throughout my essay and I'm hoping to get my main ideas clear. I also plan on redoing my introduction and conclusion to better present my ideas rather that just blabber about unnecessary information. So far in my essay, I have made it right onto the fourth page but with my revision I plan on taking out quite a lot of information to stay on topic, so, with this in mind I plan on adding different information in my final draft in order to make sure I meet the length requirements needed.
ReplyDeleteMy rough draft essay is needed to fix a lot. First, I think I have to put deeper thought into my thesis. My thesis is merely statement of fact and also the main point talking about my essay looks too vague. It would be better for my paper if I make the thesis deeper and clear. Secondly, I need to make my categories more unconventional. I will think about more creative categories so that my essay can capture reader’s interest more. Thirdly, I’m going to evaluate my conclusion and make it more clear because my conclusion looks too weak and vague. Lastly, my wording is needed to be fixed a lot. I need to correct some grammar errors and put out some overlapping sentences.
ReplyDeleteTo revise my classification essay before Monday I need to really work on one of my paragraphs and have it developed better for my final draft. I have the unconventional aspect of the essay pretty much down I just need to rearrange some things to make the essay flow better. I need to add more examples within my categories to hopefully fulfill the revision requirements. I also need to work on lengthening my essay to a full four pages to get a better grade. By adding more examples from the events that I have already discussed in my rough draft and adding a few more events entirely I think I can get my essay to a full four pages.
ReplyDeleteFor my revisions on the classification essay I plan on keeping my same categories because I already had unconventional ones, but I plan on furthering my details of the actual student experience. My essay was very vague on what the student got to actually experience, so I must go into deeper detail. Another way I plan on changing the essay and bettering it is by ordering the categories least important to most important based on my personal opinion. I also need to go through my essay and check my grammar mistakes because that is what has kept me in the B range. My essay was very vague as I mentioned before so as I further and deepen the meaning of each student experience my essay will also become longer, making it almost a full 4 page essay.
ReplyDeleteIn my revisions of my essay I may change my categories again mostly in name only to get more different and unconventional but mainly try to in name only. On top of changing the names of my categories I will try and put more detail of each into the body paragraphs getting more specific on why students feel the way they do about each one. Another thing I will possibly change is the title of the essay, last time you told me that it was kind of boring so I will try and think of something that hooks the attention of the reader and make you want to read it. The last thing I will change is just a couple of grammar mistakes I have made through out and just clean up my essay in general.
ReplyDeleteBefore turning in my essay this coming Monday, I plan on focusing more on the revision. I plan to watch out for fragment sentences. I also am going to look out for very little small mistake that are costly to my grade. Although I did go to the writing center to look out for these mistakes for the last essay, I will be going multiple times so I can have more than just one person look over my essay. I believe that going to the writing center for help is such a great opportunity for having little to no errors in your essay. Even though my draft workshop partner wrote that my categories (“Bop to the Top”, “Dine-and-Dash:Finish Last!” and “Mystery-Vault”) are unconventional and interesting, I think adding one more unconventional category into my essay would become useful. I hope correcting all of these mistakes will bump me into the A or B range.
ReplyDeleteThe topic for this essay involves the unconventional aspects of events that you can attend at Angelo State. Even though I feel my essay is sufficient it does need to be revised to make it more than just adequate. Some improvements such as combining short sentences, grammar, spelling errors, and adding another example(paragraph). Firstly, i'm good at throwing examples out to try and form a paragraph out. I'll make sentences randomly and then rearrange them within each other, but this is rather a problem sometimes because they are sometimes too short. In this process, when having words flow through, I end up going to fast and misspelling things so I’ll need to go back and fix those while also capitalizing missed “I’s”. Lastly, I need to only have one topic instead of doing three so I will have to revise the whole essay overall. Hopefully then I will have made essay more than adequate to get that “A” i'm longing for.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you are motivated to make your essay more than just sufficient! You identified several different aspects of your essay which can be improved, so it sounds like you are off to a great start. Looking for ways to both significantly revise content and also correct the smaller details is a sure way to improve the overall quality of your paper.
DeleteThis week, I will be making significant revisions to my essay. In my passage this week I wrote about the hype on campus the day of the Pike party; however, I added some extra details that was I will now change. I have had numerous experiences with this eye-opening school; I’ve made friends, had experiences, and been to plenty of school events. I plan on rewriting my introduction paragraph, reconstructing my thesis with examples of my personal experiences with this school. Changing plenty of grammatical and spelling errors will be the next revision to my essay; I'm sure that when I comb through the paper, I’ll be able to spot plenty of these errors. My rough draft for my essay this week had many errors, this I am aware of, but I plan on revising and editing it to the point where it would qualify for a decent grade.
ReplyDeleteIn my essay I will be making some significant revisions to improve the overall tone of my essay. Instead of being descriptive when it comes to informing my reader I will change it to view a funnier side. I plan make my essay creative and express different dialogues so it wont be so bland. I want my reader to experience a different writing experience. The new techniques I use will hopefully spark my teachers insight and bring me an A.
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ReplyDeleteI plan to revise my essay by adding another set of examples. I thought your idea of the “hype” classification was actually really clever. I will be adding another section based off of this to further lengthen my essay. This way it’ll be closer to 5 full pages than 4 and a bit. I thought my classifications were fairly unconventional so this seems like a logical step. I will be revising my essay after I’m done typing this and I’m excited to see the end result.
For my essay, I chose to write about the entertainment extracurricular activities that Angelo State University has to offer. Professor Kornasky, suggested I categorize my events by their hype, which are overly hyped but not worth it, under hyped but worth it and then by mediocre events like an event that had little to no flyers but was good or an event that was good but very hard to find the location. I also need a stronger thesis because the current one I have can be hard to understand that it is my thesis. By adding these couple of changes, I feel like my essay will be at least 10 times better with these alterations.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have a good idea for your revision! How do you think you will develop this method of classification throughout your essay? Since this is a creative, unconventional approach, I'm thinking it might be helpful to focus on writing clear topic sentences. I imagine you will use your introduction to explain how you are classifying the events, so then each topic sentence could be used to clearly state one particular classification. Revising your thesis will also make a significant difference in making sure your reader can easily understand your method of classification, so it sounds like you have a good sense of where to start with your revision!
DeleteMy essay requires revisions for it to hopefully pass. I need to add an extra idea to my essay on clubs. Doing this will make me have a bigger essay. There are some grammar errors that can be fixed also. The flow of the essay could also use some help. Hopefully after all of this I will get a B.
ReplyDeleteFor my first revision for my essay I will be giving a little more detail to my thesis statement. In the thesis when I state one of my points, i’ll include the type of classification I will be using. Next, I’d be correcting mechanical errors within my sentences. For example, proper comma usage and accidental capitalization. Lastly just working on describing more details about my topics so my essay isn’t abstract.
ReplyDeleteWriting a strong thesis statement lays the foundation for writing a strong paper, so including your thesis in your revision is a great place to start! If adding details is another thing you plan to address in your revision, consider adding personal examples like we did in the in-class activity. Not only are personal examples an easy source for you to draw from, but the details of such examples generally provide helpful development for your main points.
DeleteAll of my revisions will involve crafting more personality into my essay. I'll start by inserting some anecdotes. I suppose I should probably be careful about how I do that (but I won't be) because I'll need to smoothly transition into them from the existing body paragraphs they'll be attached to. It may be slightly difficult because I want to flesh out these anecdotes as a sort of overly long and sometimes borderline tangental aside from the perspective of someone that probably likes to brag a bit. What may be even more difficult is going back and slightly tweaking what's already written to better reflect this perspective and personality. In theory, everything should have the literary flavor of an eccentric weatherman but we'll see. I also need to go back and create a real title but that will be saved for last as it always is, according to prophecy.
ReplyDeleteWhat I did first for revising on my essay is by strengthening my thesis statement. At first the thesis was just a statement of fact in my rough draft. Now the thesis has more detail to it and now it is a statement of intention. The next thing that needs to be revised is sentences that fracture in the paragraph. Next thing that needs to be fixed is the transition from each paragraph. In the rough draft the transitions from one paragraph to the other was boring. This time, by adding more detail to the transition it will give the essay more detail. The last thing that needs to be fixed is the conclusion. The reason for this is that the conclusion does not have much detail.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest revision is too make it less conventual and cut out the boring parts. With that I will need to change my thesis to transition into my new categories, which will make it un-conventual. I will also be making significant revisions to improve my essay overall so I will be able to get into A and B category.
ReplyDeleteFor my classification paper I used a system of classifying defined by smiley faces or what you could say emotions. I plan to make several revisions to my paper. One of them being spelling errors and my lack of using commas.Another revision I will make is adding more categories. My paper is pretty good, adding more categories would add more information which would make my paper a lot better. I also think that I might change my classification system to either meal worthiness or which events I would tell my mom about and events I would not tell my mom about. I say this because smiley faces and frowny faces/emotion is affective, but just really boring. Versus what I would tell my mom about and what I wouldn’t is also affective and can add some entertainment to the paper. Also ranking the events based off of meal worthiness can make my paper a lot more informative to college students.
ReplyDeleteFor my essays revision I changed some ideas and also the flow of it. With my organization order it seems to make the essay more readable and approachable. I was also able notice all of the run on sentences, misspelled words and punctuation errors. I think my final draft will turn out 2x better than my rough draft because my rough draft was really rough. Ill be ready to provide a well written essay on Monday.
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